Motherhood lately

Jonathan is teething. I have learned that there is teething... and then there is TEETHING.

We were sleeping in nice long stretches through the night, for about a week, and then the bad teething kicked in and he wakes up in pain throughout the night.

Yes, I have those "Wonderful Hylands Teething Tablets", and I think they are wonderful too, for the 2 minutes that they work.

Yes, I have infant oragel, and I think it's wonderful, for the 2 minutes that it works.

Yes, I have infant Tylenol. I love it, I love it because it works, and for more than 2 minutes!

I went from loving babycenter online (What a great place to ask some of your new mommy questions!) to hating babycenter. It's just a place where all of us new moms ask the exact same question and then guess at the answer, because none of us are medical professionals. So, all that we discover is that we all have babies that are going through the same thing, so we must all be normal right? Right? Please somebody tell me that I'm right and we are all normal!!! Also,the moms use abbreviations in ways I don't understand. They constantly refer to their children as "LO's"... My LO stopped sleeping through the night.... My LO is eating a lot more lately.. My LO is OT lately, am I keeping her up too long?.... All I know is that Jonathan is in no way an "LO".. I can't figure it out.

So, what is my solution to finding out the answers I seek? I make a list for my doctor. However, the list changes daily because my son changes daily. Thank the Lord for older sisters!!! I usually just call one of them with my non-medical emergencies and am usually told, that I have a baby, and babies change, and I'm ok.

Except for the other day.

I called my oldest sister because I had a horrible first mom experience. Below is how my sister has reported the story.

Since Bekki had baby Jonathan she has occasionally called me with "new mom" questions and they've all been normal until today. 
Bekki: "Um, Katie, so, well, I was changing Jonathan's diaper and (pause) well, well I didn't get him covered up fast enough and he peed, and it went straight in his mouth, what do I do?"
Me: Well, pretty sure there is nothing to do.
Bekki: I am the worse Mom ever

I did proceed to wash Jonathan's mouth out, and he did NOT like that. 

This is motherhood lately. It's a blast, it's a learning experience, and I am tired. I am sure that coffee is proof that God loves mothers.

Jonathan's Songs

I try and read to Jonathan and sing to him and play music for him at least a little bit every day. What ends up happening is that I get his songs stuck in my head and I sing them to myself all day. It's been a blessing in disguise. These songs are just a couple of lines and usually no more than 2 verses. But as simple as they are, they carry truth in their words. Simple truth's that remind me of child-like faith.

"Be careful little eye's what you see. For the father up above is looking down in love, so be careful little eyes what you see. ( and then it's hands, feet, mind, mouth, and heart)

"Trust and Obey, for there is no other way to be happy in Jesus, but to trust and obey."

"I have the peace that passes understanding down in my heart... because.. I have the love of Jesus down in my heart."

"My God is so BIG, so Strong, and so Mighty, there's nothing my God cannot do."

"I will enter His gates with thanksgiving in my heart, I will enter His courts with Praise. I will say this is the day that the Lord has made. I will rejoice for He has made me glad."

my 2 cents

I don't know if there are an increasing number of "motherhood" blogs/posts/articles out on the web, or if I am just noticing them more because I am in the motherhood stage of life now. Either way, I am seeing a lot of opinions on the topic.

 I am constantly seeing articles such as "what nobody told me" "I never knew how tired I could be" "the 5 things about being a mom I wish someone would have said" "What labor is really like" "What raising kids is really like"... you get the picture.

Almost all of the articles talk about fatigue, emotions, feeling run down, having a constant foggy brain and the like. Some of the articles talk about the true hardships of being a mom that no one wants to admit to, some talk about how it's all just so much better than anyone could have explained, yay for rainbows and sunshine! Well, here is my 2 cents.

I was going to give a disclaimer about all the things I love about my baby and about being a mom so that you didn't think I was a horrible person, but that's not the point of what I want to say, so I'm just going to dive in.

It doesn't really matter how tired you are. How everything is different than you thought. How sometimes you just want to break down and cry. How you didn't feel "that connection" to your baby immediately. If you are a happy mom, that is awesome! Continue to dwell on the good, and thank the Lord for your experience. If you are struggling.. well stop reading the articles. They don't help you dwell on truth. They just make you feel better about yourself for a moment before you hear your baby cry and you break down again.

We are called to motherhood, If you are a mom it is what the Lord has ordained for you and He has given plenty to study and focus on about this topic in His Word. Obey what you are called to do and the feelings will follow. Maybe not that moment, or that day, but the feelings will follow. The Lord blesses obedience. Quit reading articles that feed your emotions (which cannot be trusted due to lack of sleep) and read the Word.

If you are a mom who is truly struggling... ask for help.  My 2 older sisters have had some truly hard times in their early motherhood years. I can't imagine going through some of the things they have. I learned so much from watching them put their pride away and ask for godly counsel, and then heed that counsel.

Today is the day that the Lord has made, REJOICE, and be GLAD in it!

a new stage

My little man is 4 1/2 months old. It's crazy to think that he's only been here for 4 1/2 months. He's changed our whole world. He's a complete joy and Kyle and I just love being parents. I keep on writing in his baby book, all of his "new" developments. How he has recently found his feet (thanks to his great-grandma), how he laughs and how his neck is ticklish like his daddy's. He smiles all the time... right up until the point he decides he's done and ready for a nap. Then the pouty lip comes out and it's one cute sad face that he makes.

I want to remember things about myself too, all the lessons I'm learning along the way. It's true that I'll never sleep the same again. I can be in a dead sleep and hear Jonathan roll over in his crib upstairs. Some day's it's not until I'm about to make lunch that I realize I haven't brushed my teeth yet, and some days I forget to make lunch all together. (I don't think I've completely forgotten about brushing my teeth, thank goodness!)

I have to say 'no' to activities a lot more than I used to. I am learning that I have to plan out my day just to run to Costco, and I have had to stop in the middle of a store and feed Jonathan his bottle more than once because I didn't make it home on time.

However, a midst all of the things that have changed, nothing has changed as much as my heart. I have seen the care of my Savior in a deeper way than ever before. I have seen my dependence on Him strengthen daily. I have felt a new kind of joy that I haven't experienced before, and a new kind of love. My prayer life has grown. I find myself just talking to the Lord throughout my day. Sometimes I am sharing the joy of motherhood, sometimes I am begging for energy and praising Him for creating the coffee bean. I pray for the Salvation of my boy, but mostly I realize on a new level what it means that the Lord is my father.

I am his child. I will never be able to understand fully in my human mind the love, care, discipline, and teaching that goes in to being my Heavenly father. But I have learned to lean on Him and trust Him in a new way. If he has shown me through making me a parent a fraction of the care that He has for me, how can I do anything but rely on Him, and rest in His arms.

In some ways I feel like a child again. I remember growing up basically thinking my Dad was superman (ok, I might still think that) I told kids my Dad was smarter, stronger, better, and bigger than anyone else's Dad. I always felt safe with my Dad and I always knew he'd take care of me.

I see how Kyle is with Jonathan, and I know how I feel towards my boy. We would do anything to care for him, protect him, provide for him, and love him. I find myself in a complete state of peace knowing I can't fathom how my Heavenly father is doing the same for me.

This doesn't mean I never worry, or stress. I'm just learning to take those worries to the Lord instead of mull them over on my own.

I can't imagine the ways the Lord is going to continue to humble me and stretch me through parenthood, but if it's anything like the first 4 1/2 months then I am truly excited to see what is to come.

Idaho trip #2

Well, we (J and I) got to go to Idaho again! What a great trip! I got to fly up with my little sister Abigail. I went to the wedding of a dear friend of mine... My grandmother and I drove to Sun Valley together for the wedding. What a sweet time we had together. I caught up with some old college friends. It was a blast.

Then I spent a week at home with my family. Boy, did J get loved on! (and so did I!) Here are some pics of the trip. I will post a couple more soon.

Waiting for our plane home

it took no time for Nana to be spoiling our little one

sweet cousin time. these kids LOVE to love on J

see what I mean?

play time with great-grandma

Abigail kept him squeeky clean.

the beautiful  bride and I

the happy couple

Elijah and J... he made sure to give J some boy time....

But not for long before Vanessa needed a turn

on grandmas porch with 2 of my favorite ladies

snuggles....and another of my favorites

this might be my favorite picture from the trip.

this is the runner up.

he was a trooper in the airport waiting for our flight that was delayed twice.

finally home with daddy

my loves

3 months

This little guy is 3 months old....

He rolls over in his crib when he wakes up, and plays with the mobile until someone comes and gets him. He is holding his head up great, and loves to sit up. He loves to look around, just a curious little guy. He gives the best smiles.... and my favorite.... When he's a little snuggly he looks at me and smiles and gives me what Kyle and I call the "I love you" coo. He only gives it to me, and it's kind of like he's saying I love you.

Ok, I realize that makes me sound like the super crazy mushy mom... but that is what I've become. I can't help it.

I know you

I know that J can't really understand what I say to him, and yet I talk to him all day long, and I read to him, and I sing to him (poor poor kid)

Well today, I caught myself telling him "I know you"

I do. I know him better than he knows himself. ( I should, seeing as he's only 12 weeks old)

I know that he loves to stare at the color red, He doesn't even know what red is.
I know how he behaves when He is tired.
I know he doesn't like to be hot, he doesn't know what heat or cold is.
I know how to make him smile.
I know how to comfort him.
I know he loves to roll over, but he doesn't know that he will crawl, walk, and run.

Then I started thinking this must be exactly how the Lord see's us.

I know I'm tired, but I don't know that the Lord is building my endurance for something greater than now.
I know there are things I enjoy, but can't explain why. The Lord knit my heart together, and put desires in my heart.
He knows how to make me smile, how to comfort me, and how to love me.

Oh how my trust would grow if I saw myself as an infant in the hands of my Heavenly Father.