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Thursday, June 26, 2014

a new stage

My little man is 4 1/2 months old. It's crazy to think that he's only been here for 4 1/2 months. He's changed our whole world. He's a complete joy and Kyle and I just love being parents. I keep on writing in his baby book, all of his "new" developments. How he has recently found his feet (thanks to his great-grandma), how he laughs and how his neck is ticklish like his daddy's. He smiles all the time... right up until the point he decides he's done and ready for a nap. Then the pouty lip comes out and it's one cute sad face that he makes.

I want to remember things about myself too, all the lessons I'm learning along the way. It's true that I'll never sleep the same again. I can be in a dead sleep and hear Jonathan roll over in his crib upstairs. Some day's it's not until I'm about to make lunch that I realize I haven't brushed my teeth yet, and some days I forget to make lunch all together. (I don't think I've completely forgotten about brushing my teeth, thank goodness!)

I have to say 'no' to activities a lot more than I used to. I am learning that I have to plan out my day just to run to Costco, and I have had to stop in the middle of a store and feed Jonathan his bottle more than once because I didn't make it home on time.

However, a midst all of the things that have changed, nothing has changed as much as my heart. I have seen the care of my Savior in a deeper way than ever before. I have seen my dependence on Him strengthen daily. I have felt a new kind of joy that I haven't experienced before, and a new kind of love. My prayer life has grown. I find myself just talking to the Lord throughout my day. Sometimes I am sharing the joy of motherhood, sometimes I am begging for energy and praising Him for creating the coffee bean. I pray for the Salvation of my boy, but mostly I realize on a new level what it means that the Lord is my father.

I am his child. I will never be able to understand fully in my human mind the love, care, discipline, and teaching that goes in to being my Heavenly father. But I have learned to lean on Him and trust Him in a new way. If he has shown me through making me a parent a fraction of the care that He has for me, how can I do anything but rely on Him, and rest in His arms.

In some ways I feel like a child again. I remember growing up basically thinking my Dad was superman (ok, I might still think that) I told kids my Dad was smarter, stronger, better, and bigger than anyone else's Dad. I always felt safe with my Dad and I always knew he'd take care of me.

I see how Kyle is with Jonathan, and I know how I feel towards my boy. We would do anything to care for him, protect him, provide for him, and love him. I find myself in a complete state of peace knowing I can't fathom how my Heavenly father is doing the same for me.

This doesn't mean I never worry, or stress. I'm just learning to take those worries to the Lord instead of mull them over on my own.

I can't imagine the ways the Lord is going to continue to humble me and stretch me through parenthood, but if it's anything like the first 4 1/2 months then I am truly excited to see what is to come.

Monday, June 23, 2014

Idaho trip #2

Well, we (J and I) got to go to Idaho again! What a great trip! I got to fly up with my little sister Abigail. I went to the wedding of a dear friend of mine... My grandmother and I drove to Sun Valley together for the wedding. What a sweet time we had together. I caught up with some old college friends. It was a blast.

Then I spent a week at home with my family. Boy, did J get loved on! (and so did I!) Here are some pics of the trip. I will post a couple more soon.

Waiting for our plane home

it took no time for Nana to be spoiling our little one

sweet cousin time. these kids LOVE to love on J

see what I mean?

play time with great-grandma

Abigail kept him squeeky clean.
the beautiful  bride and I

the happy couple

Elijah and J... he made sure to give J some boy time....

But not for long before Vanessa needed a turn
on grandmas porch with 2 of my favorite ladies

snuggles....and another of my favorites

this might be my favorite picture from the trip.

this is the runner up.

he was a trooper in the airport waiting for our flight that was delayed twice.

finally home with daddy

my loves