A lady who has been a great influence in my life and also a mentor asked on her website the other day "How does your husband know that you love him, without you saying the actual words." (Side note, if you are anything like me "How does she know you love her" from Enchanted will be playing in your head over and over and over at this point)
Well, I asked Kyle. His response wasn't quite as immediate as I would have wished. He said that he knew that I loved him, and he was so thankful for me... BUT, if he was being completely honest we show love in different ways, and I show it in my words more than actions.
Kyle and I are complete opposites when it comes to love languages. I want to be cuddled and to receive little notes left for me, and "just because I love you" gifts. Kyle feels love through acts of service.
For example: Making him a lunch.
Sure I make him lunch..... some of the time. I mean he's a grown man, can't he make his own lunch if he wants to eat? ;-) He also likes it when I get everything on his grocery/ home supply list. Actually, he'd really like it if I just used a list at all so that I wouldn't forget things. But who needs lists? I mean is it REALLY that frustrating to have no paper towels, or laundry softener, or hot sauce. These aren't the essentials of life. Sure they are nice, but not NEEDED....
I think you get the point. In the last year I can see areas where I've really stopped being Kyle's helpmate. I'd could give you plenty of reasons why, and some of them seem like really "good" ones from the outside. But is there any good reason to not keep your priorities in order?
Well it hasn't been easy, but I have really relied on the Holy Spirit to be my strength and have worked to make my husband and home my priority. It has been such a joy! Isn't that how it always is when we are doing what we are called to?
It's been quite humbling. Any wife would want to hear the answer to her question be, "You are the best wife and I know you love me in every way, in your words and actions." In reality Kyle tells me all the time how thankful he is for me. Please don't think of him as some tyrant that needs perfection. Indeed I am thankful I am married to such a supportive, sweet man who is willing to tell me where I am weak. Not so I can serve him better, but so I can be the best wife and mother that the Lord has called me to be.
It would be so much more comfortable to not point out areas of weakness in each other; but what growth has ever come from comfort?