James 4:6

If you still read my blog, then you are aware I haven't written anything since November. I thought about it, and then Jonathan would need me, or I would be planning a wedding, or doing dishes and laundry and things for Jr. High ministry.... and I would also sit down to watch Agent Carter (am I a total nerd for admitting to watching that? I don't care. I really like it.)  while J napped.

When life gets busy, this is the first thing to go. I had to think about it and re-evaluate why it is that I like it, why do I write this blog? Well, I just looked at some old posts and quickly remembered. It's my little online diary with pictures that I get to share with people who want a peek into my life.

I will be adding pictures soon and catching up on posts, like Jonathan turning 1! and Kyle and I slipping away to a marriage retreat :) Today, I am going to catch you up a little on my heart.

Since November Kyle and I have been busier than we have probably ever been. I say probably, just in case I'm forgetting something, but really I believe we have been the busiest we've been and I'm sure that life will only get busier as more children join our family (no I'm not pregnant).  I could write out the list of everything we've done since November, but that would bore you and isn't really the point.

The point is that the Lord has been stretching me and humbling me every day. It's painful, but oh so good. Kyle and I are in a new position within Jr. High ministry at our church, really the new position is just for Kyle, but the one new thing for me is that I am disciplining the staff women. So, the Lord has been humbling me in every way that it is important for a discipler to be humble. Think of that older wiser woman that you go to for advice. Isn't she slow to speak, quick to hear? Don't her words, although strong and firm in truth, drip with honey and encouragement? Doesn't she seem to handle her household in a Proverbs 31 kind of way? Do you admire her discipline?

Well basically all of those are things I fail at, and so the Lord is humbling me and showing me my weakness so that I can be strong in Him to serve my family, serve these women, and ultimately serve the Lord.

It's painful to see your sin. At least it's painful to see mine. It's not subtle at all, it's out there for the whole world to see. I'm pretty sure if you polled anyone who knows me they could tell you without much hesitation faults that they see in me.

Instead of trying to put a pretty face on my sin and appear a bit more put together, I am seeing the great benefit of having people know me this well. I don't get away with anything and thus I am forced to the cross when I would otherwise resist.

James 4:6 is ever on my mind. God opposes the proud but gives grace to the humble.