All of His Details

I got to thinking today about different bits of advice I was given before I had Jonathan. One consistent piece of advice was to continue to go on dates and make your marriage a priority. Kyle and I would nod in agreement as we heard this bit of advice over and over and we would talk about how we weren't worried about this. We knew that we would continue to pursue one another and go on dates and that marriage would remain our priority.

I am thankful that, yes, we have done as advised. But, I will say this, I don't think many mom's go into parenting with the mentality that they will idolize their children and put their husband on the back burner. I don't think that many husbands go into parenting thinking that they will be more excited to come home to their baby than their wife.

Here's the thing. I spend ALL day studying Jonathan. I am looking for signs of health and development. I feed him, change him, wash him, play with him, read to him, sing to him, and the list goes on. I know every small detail of this little person. I know all of his moods, looks, smiles.. I know what makes him laugh, and why he cries.

As my mom would say, these early years with kids are very physical. It's all hands on. I realize my relationship with Kyle shouldn't look like it does with Jonathan. Kyle would find it quite strange if I fed him, washed him and I know he would really prefer that I DO NOT sing to him. (sometimes I do anyway)  But how do I spend my time studying Kyle. I don't want to get so lost in the detailed tasks of motherhood that I stop studying Kyle.

The other day I brought a little something home for him that I knew he would like. I don't even remember what it was anymore, I just remember his response.When I gave it to him he said why did you get this? "Because I know you like it" I said.. "How did you know?!" He was so pleased. "Well, I've been paying attention." ( clearly not close enough attention since I can't remember what it was ) He was so happy the rest of the night. It meant the world to him that I had known him well enough to buy things to his taste and preference as an act of love.

Kyle does a great job of coming home and greeting me before he greets Jonathan. I know sometimes this is hard though. I haven't changed since he left for work, but our little one has. Kyle doesn't want to miss a thing, so it's easy to come home and be all consumed with J. However, he always asks about my day and wants to know all the details, which are pretty boring really.

So, although that little piece of advice seemed a little redundant before having J, I am thankful for the reminder and am working to apply it now.

(In case I forget, I learned this week that Kyle does not like artichokes, really enjoys a pickle to go on the side of his sandwich.)