a butter dish

I have a tendency to walk into a store, fill a cart with all sorts of things that I want, and then by the time I get to the check out stand I have managed to talk myself out of every single purchase and walk out of the store with nothing.

For the most part this doesn't really both Kyle, but every once in awhile he really wishes I would buy the things we do need.

Since we've been married I haven't bought us a butter dish. I've gotten close many times, but decided last minute that it wasn't a NEED.

I've had many friends even tell me "Bekki, you know you can get one for just a couple dollars right?"
Kyle has reminded me that even though we're on a budget we can afford butter dishes.

Well this morning the UPS man rang our doorbell with a package for me. A butter dish. It's perfect: simple and white.

Kyle takes care of me... even when I refuse to take care of us and our butter dish needs.

if I could take anyone to dinner

I started thinking yesterday, if I could take anyone to dinner who would it be? It was a pretty easy decision, but then I allowed myself two choices, I can choose one person who has already died and one person still living. 

My first choice: King David. He was said to be a man after God's own heart. Jesus was born of his line. I could go on and on, but I can't imagine anyone I'd want more at my dinner table. 

My second choice: ok, your all probably going to say ew! or laugh or think I'm kind of silly. But I'd take Kyle to dinner. I mean he is my favorite person.

On a little side note, tonight I have book club and we are reading the screwtape letters. I've read it before, but it was worth reading again!  I highly recommend it. I highly recommend anything by C.S. Lewis (he is one of my favorite authors) If you haven't heard of it or read it before here is a link to get a summary of the book. 

getting to know you...

During the sermon on Sunday the pastor said that as we get to know God better we see our sin more clearly. ( I paraphrased) 

I've been thinking about that in terms of friendships as well. When you get to know someone you see the good, the bad, and the ugly. 

How often do we stop and think: "If I am seeing sin in them, they must be seeing sin in me as well." (probably twice as much sin if your getting to know me!)

As you can probably tell from previous posts I have been thinking a lot about the Lord's patience and love... I'm NOT one for New Years Resolutions, I don't like to say from now on I'm going to ___ fill in the blank. I am praying, however, that the Lord takes these thoughts and transforms them into consistent thought processes that truly change the way I treat/view people and change the way I view God. 

1 Peter 4:8 Above all, keep fervent in your love for one another, because love covers a multitude of sins. 

lemon poppyseed muffins

I was feeling anything but well last night.

Kyle had been texting me throughout the day with encouragement and checking on me. He even did a little grocery shopping on his way home. 

Instead of coming home to a wife making him dinner, or really being productive in any way, he came home to me on the couch in the fetal position. 

He just held me for awhile, took care of me, and then...

Kyle baked me poppy seed muffins. I don't know if he's ever made anything more difficult than a scrambled egg. 

It was just a box mix, nothing fancy, but it took him about 15 minutes just to get it mixed together and EVENLY put into the muffin tins. 

He wanted them to be perfect for me, and they were. 

He continued to ask me if there was anything I needed.

I have a wonderful husband who takes such good care of me.

Perspective

We had an incredible sermon yesterday about our TOTAL forgiveness in Christ. 

How amazing that we are forgiven completely, even for the things that we haven't confessed, for the things that we will do, have done and are currently battling. 

The freedom in Christ, the forgiveness... it's overwhelming.

I have thought a lot about this lately, about God's love and forgiveness. He is so patient with us. I could spend forever talking about the ways He is patient, but think about this, He allows that we only see bits of our sin at a time. We are given the chance to grow, battle, and overcome before we are given another challenge. What if we saw all of our sin at once! We would probably have a better understanding of how wretched we are, but we would also not be able to handle it. We can't even handle the sins we are battling now on our own. God is our complete strength!

This day I am thankful for a patient, forgiving God who see's us through His son, so that He can continue to be patient with us.  

His forgiveness makes me want to battle harder and to eagerly forgive others, because I know from what I have been forgiven.

I am really bad at creating interesting titles, so this will be called "Happy Friday"

I don't feel like I have much to share today... (that's probably not how you are supposed to start a blog, most people wont read past that line) 

I am trying to plan a fun/inexpensive surprise date for Kyle tonight. I realized it shouldn't only be him who has to plan our date nights and make them perfect. 

I cannot decide what to do. Should we do simple dinner and a movie or something crazy? It will probably end up somewhere in the middle... If anyone reading this has a good idea, please please share, you may be saving my date night! 

On another note, the bread turned out really well. As always I want to perfect it a bit, but I will post the recipe in the near future and you can try it for yourself! Like I said, this was my first attempt at making whole wheat bread, so I don't REALLY know if this is a simple recipe, but compared to some of the one's I've seen, well it's not as intimidating. 

I have updated working out, marriage and the tall diaries!

Happy Friday!

new job/being a sub/bread adventure

It's been a pretty interesting week. I was in LA on Monday, started a new job on Tuesday and was a Substitute teacher today!

Since my new job is work-from-home, my boss decided that a work dinner would be wonderful for us to see who we work with/see that we work for a real company/ orientation. 

Well I google mapped my way over and WAY underestimated how long it would take me to get there. It's in the middle of no where. I thought that I was lost several times, but in fact I was not, I was told to just keep driving. I related to Dori from finding nemo many times, yes, I sang "just keep driving" for the last 10 minutes, until I FINALLY arrived. 

The next little adventure of the week... I was a substitute teacher today. I never thought that I would sub. I did however, and it was pretty fun. I already know the kids and work with them for a little bit every day which I think was a HUGE help. The teacher gave me a rough idea of what she wanted done, and lets admit it, being a sub for 1st grade isn't rocket science. 


I did make one little girl cry. 


It really wasn't me, it was her. She had a bad attitude all day, and wasn't listening to me. She is crazy OCD about her homework. Well I had asked the class to clean up their tables and get in line, if they didn't finish the project we were working on then we'd finish after gym. (we coordinate gym time with 2 other teachers so this is the one area where I really needed to insist we kept to the schedule) 


Well, she didn't want to leave her work undone


I wanted her to get in line.

She refused.

My boss looked at me to see if I would let a 1st grader boss me around.


I took her homework from her and ...... water works.. wah wah wah wah wah


I don't feel bad.


Third adventure: Bread making. Sure I've made plenty of sweet breads, but today I made my first loaf of wheat bread. I REALLY hope that it turns out well, and if it does I will share the recipe with you! 


Kyle loves fresh baked bread so it's going to be fun to have it ready for him by the time he comes home... if it tastes ok...





 

The Firm

The Firm, The Cult... just a couple of names that SportsTek goes by (Kyle's work) It is a great company to work for. Nothing quite like working with believers that you also go to church with, minister with, serve with, work with.. I think you can see why it's called the firm or a cult. 

I can't stress enough the blessing it is. It has brought us to Temecula,, to Faith Bible Church, to new friends that love the Lord and are at our same stage of life, the blessing of working FOR believers not just with them.. the blessings go on and on. 

Now I realize I'm the new wife of the firm. Most of the ladies are SO used to the crazy schedule their husbands have, the different facets of working for the firm, and I know I have a lot to learn from these women. How they serve and are patient and flexible and supportive. 

To be honest, some days I do much better than others. This week has been harder for me. Kyle gets up at 4 every day. (very typical for every guy who works for SportsTek, I am so proud of him, but I don't want it to sound like He's doing things other people aren't) and home around 7 on average.  He drives all over San Diego county. Sometimes I get the phone call that says:

Kyle: "I'm on my way home"
me: "Sweet, I'll start dinner."
Kyle: "You should probably wait, I'm about 10 minutes from the Mexican border, it'll be awhile"


So even on those days he's done "early" he doesn't get home early. Then there is studying to do. Yep, there is a lot of studying in this job. He has to know what he's saying to the Dr.'s and just when he thinks he's figured out one part of the job he gets put on a case he's never seen before.

Like I said, Kyle and I are the newbies. I know that the way has been paved for us and that some of these guys have gone through a lot of hard times and long hours, and because of the road they have paved we have a support system, and it's easier for Kyle and I!


For me, this means I need to be supportive of Kyle, put my needs on the back burner. Don't even plan on a time for dinner. Don't plan on going out after Kyle comes home. I need to understand when he's tired and crashed on the couch at 7. There have been nights when I wake him up just to eat dinner and then send him off to bed. We talk on the phone much more than we talk in person. 


I need focus on being his support, encourage him when he's tired, help him focus on the good and the truth. (Kyle is such an example to me in how he thinks!) I need to be his prayer warrior, and also for the team.


This week it's been easy for me to feel bad for myself. After reading this post and realizing what Kyle and the rest of the SportstTek guys do everyday you probably think it's pretty selfish for me to feel bad for myself... because it is! 


I am learning to focus on the good, be super productive with my time and search out ways to serve, and to think of the other wives! How can I be supportive of them, some of those women have families, much much more on their plate than I do! But mostly I need to focus on being a support to my husband.


What amazing examples I have to follow!

 

1 John

Every month Kyle and I choose a book of the Bible to read completely through every day. This month we are reading 1 John every day. 

It's been a huge blessing, and the Lord is teaching me so much about myself. I realize for whatever reason that although Scripture tells us that God's love is constant, never changing, un-conditional, etc. I still expect to be loved according to my actions. I can only imagine what a slap in the face that must be to God. He sent His son to die for our sins, and yet I still put boundaries on God's love in my own mind. ah! 1 John has been so good in renewing my thinking on God's love. 

Then Kyle told me that 1 John 2:28 really stood out to Him. " Now, little children, abide in Him, so that when He appears, we may have confidence and not shrink away from Him in shame at His coming."


Now, little children..... 

I love that. I love that God is our Daddy, that we are His little children. I think of my earthly Father's love. Yes, at times there is discipline, some tough love. But there is a never ending supply of forgiveness, and un-conditional love. If that is how my earthly Father loves, I truly can't wrap my mind around how God loves me. 


So I am going to strive, with the Lord's help of course, to abide in Him. I want to put my walk with Christ first without any thought of what people will think of me or how they will view me. Just to Abide in Christ so that I can have confidence in Him and not shrink away!

Tall Diaries Update

Yep, I've updated the Tall Diaries.

While updating I was talking to my cousin online and she shared one of her tall moments. (yes people, it runs in the family... being tall that is) anyway, if you need a little outlet to share how people comment on things that well... they would find offensive if said to them, or just a funny story about something that ALWAYS happens to you.. I would love to hear! and laugh along with you :)

night stands

Well the project that took me to Hobby Lobby with Kyle last week... failed. Yep, failed so I wont show you any of those pictures. BUT, we did get our night stands sanded and painted. So glad!

Before

During

Finished

Then, after church on Sunday my sister Deb decided to drop by. She had a little business in Temecula take care of and got to stay with us! It was so fun to see her. She even sang and played a bit for us (at the Tracy's) I love it when she does that! 

It is really nice to be back and in the swing of things again.

kitchen

When I was home my mom asked me if I would post some pictures of our apartment. Well over the next couple of weeks Kyle and I are working on some projects, so instead of showing the whole apartment I'm just gonna do a bit at a time, and show more once the projects are done... so here is the kitchen.

date night at Hobby Lobby

So last night Kyle and I.... ok I wanted to go to Hobby Lobby to pick up some supplies for my next little project. Kyle willingly came with me, but didn't know what he'd think of a craft store. 

Well Kyle soon found some things that he'd like to put in his "man cave" one day and found a wood carving kit. 

It was just fun to walk through and talk and imagine what we might put in our house some day. 

We always have fun together, even if it's a date to Hobby Lobby. 

a walk...

I was going to go on a walk with a friend on Tuesday, but she was unable to go, so I did my morning  chores and got ready for work. I was ready with lots of extra time before work, so I decided to walk to work.

What I didn't decide to do was to change first. 

So I walked in a cute dress with black boots. 

 REALLY bad idea.


I got two miles from my house and thought the walk was pretty successful. I only had two more miles to go.


Then my feet started to hurt. Walking in boots is bad


Well I got to a busy intersection, turned right and walked another half a mile. 


Then the side walk ended. It didn't end at a very convenient place either. It ended at the on and off ramps to the freeway which are located on an over pass. GREAT. I didn't have enough time to walk back to an intersection that allowed me to cross, and the part of the road that I was at was REALLY busy. what was I going to do?


Never fear! Homeless man walking his bike is near!


"Come on sweety! let's get through this" yes, that is what the homeless man said to me. So he helped me bob and weave through traffic. He even stopped traffic once. It must have looked strange. A very tall girl in a dress and boots running after a homeless man walking his bike.  I made it safely to  the other side on the overpass and then he was gone. rode off on his bike before I could say thanks. 


On my way back from work my feet were throbbing! I ended up with blisters on the tops of my toes, really really big ones. Anyway, as I came back to the same overpass (this time on the side of the road with a side walk) a couple of emergency vehicles came to a stop right in front of me. There was an accident on the off ramp side of the road that I had come across. 


I was stuck again. If I went around to the other side I wouldn't have a side walk, just a very busy road and no homeless man to help me bob and weave. 


Then he came, the fireman who had to stop traffic to help me get through the accident. I felt pretty embarrassed. He had to help me through and even made am ambulance move when he was parking so I had a safer path across the road. 


Well I finally made it home. I did walk through a neighborhood instead of on the main road so that people would stop asking me if I wanted a ride, but I made it home. 


I'm not going to walk to work anymore

blessings

I mentioned earlier that my parents got Kyle and I "The Treasury of David" by Spurgeon for Christmas from my parents. It has been an AMAZING read so far. Yes, I'm saying amazing and I'm just at the beginning of the book. 

Psalm 1 says "Blessed is the man that walketh not in the counsel of the ungodly, not standeth in the way of sinners, not sitteth in the seat of the scornful, but His delight is in the law of the Lord..." 

It continues but my focus has been on the very first part of this verse. Spurgeon's commentary on this part says "The word translated as "blessed" is a very expressive one. The original word is plural, and it is a controverted matter whether it is an adjective or a substantive, Hence we may learn the multiplicity of the blessings which shall rest upon the man whom God hath justified, and the perfection and greatness of the blessedness he shall enjoy." 

For some reason I have always been a little uncomfortable when the blessings of the Lord are talked about. I am humbled by the Lords blessings and thankful for them. But what makes me uncomfortable is the idea of doing something because I want the blessings of the Lord. It feels wrong to me. I feel like I should do things for the Lord simply because He is God.
Which, is true, I should do things simply because He is God, but coupled with that is blessing. Blessing that I shouldn't be afraid of.

This being nervous to do things simply for the blessing of the Lord has also spilled into my prayer life. I can pray BIG things for others, but when it comes to praying "big" for myself I hesitate. I think I'm learning to see the full picture of God. It is easy for me to see God as all powerful and just. I am learning that he is also a very loving Abba, which translated is "daddy". 


It is humbling beyond words that my God would not only save me, but also want me to live abundantly, and provide blessing.

Any thoughts? 

two new projects... maybe more than that

Ok, I don't even have pictures to tell you what we're going to do, kinda lame of me, but I will post pictures soon. I'm just so excited about the projects I wanted to tell you. 

The first is that Kyle is taking an old table that was given to us and creating out of it a whole new table. The second. I finally got a chest! My Uncle Steve gave Kyle and I a chest, which means we could finally get rid of our old coffee table. It needs a little work, but it's a really cool piece. It's from the late 1800's. 

It's so fun to be able to continue making our apartment just how we like it without spending much. 

Ok, now the scary project. I'm going to start baking my moms bread. She used to make homemade bread all the time. Seriously, we didn't ever buy bread from the store. Well I finally have a good mixer (thank you mother in law) and so I'm going to start baking her bread. I'm also on the hunt for an affordable sewing machine... I REALLY want to sew, but kinda need a machine for it.

Working on projects with Kyle is one of my favorite things.

Also, my mom asked that I post pictures of our place so she can get an idea of what we're up to, so that's a little something that will be coming in the near future.  

new years are fun... so many new little adventures

Christmas Vacation

Two weeks ago Kyle and I headed up to Boise for Christmas with my brother in law Dan and sister Deborah. Today we are back on our couch in Temecula. It was a whirlwind of a two weeks, wonderful to see family, but after a VERY busy Holiday season we are glad to be home with no agenda in the foreseeable future except to work and get back into the swing of every day life. 

It would take way to long to give you the play by play of our time in Idaho and so I'll just give a few highlights. 
 Clearly just seeing my family is a highlight in itself. It was great to see my sisters kids play together. They were constant entertainment. Davy wouldn't leave Abigail's side, Elijah wouldn't leave Davy, Vanessa called Danny her baby (even though they are the same size) and Danny pretty much just ran around and let everyone know he was there and happy.

Seeing Abigail was so wonderful. She is a complete joy to me,  I only wish that she lived closer!


Kyle and I got to sneak away a few mornings to have coffee with grandma and grandpa at her house. They were sweet times of talking and laughing.


I got to spend some one on one time with my mom. Oh I want to be like her!

I got my very needed hugs from Dad.


Kyle and I got the "Treasury of David" by Spurgeon from my parents for Christmas. I start reading it tomorrow and am really excited about it. 

We came back with so many things. My mom and grandma kept saying "listen you drove up a suburban we can pack a lot in there, so you just need to tell us what you want." 


We went snow tubing!

We got to celebrate Kyle's birthday with the whole family. 


I could go on and on, so I'll stop. Just recapping the trip reminds me of how blessed we are. The Lord provides far beyond what we deserve or need.